Monday, October 11, 2004
Franco Baresi would be proud
Jamie Theakston, being the most knowledgeable man in the country when it comes to pop music, is presenting a new series on C4 which aims to get viewers voting on who should be inducted into the UK’s Rock N Roll Hall Of Fame. Oh my. There were five artists included automatically, bypassing the shortlist and vote kerfuffle and going straight past Go and collecting £200; The Beatles (yawn), Elvis (yawn), Bob Marley (yawn), Madonna (yowl) and U2 (wtf?!). U2? Why the fuck do they get a pass straight in? Because their career’s passed across more than one decade so the organisers didn’t know which show to put them in? Jesus. No Stones, no Velvets, no Marvin, no Stevie, no Clash, no [insert name of favourite redundant canonical rock artist here]… So U2 are one of the five Greatest Artists Ever. I guess they’ve sold a lot of records, but I still don’t get what the fuss is about beyond bits of Joshua Tree and Achtung Baby.
But anyway, last night was 90s night, with ten possibles up for the vote, including Prodigy, Oasis, Radiohead, Dr Dre, Blur, Robbie Williams… and Missy Elliott. Who, granted, released two solo albums and did a whole hump of production work in the 90s, but who surely didn’t break through into the UK mainstream until 2001 when “Get Ur Freak On” was released? So wtf is she doing in the 90s show?
There were many, many things wrong with this programme, from the completely redundant talking-head commentators (Stephen Dorff says he likes Red Hot Chilli Peppers! WOW!) to the inclusion of Red Hot Chilli Peppers (and some woman, Sylvia someone, saying something about how they’ve changed their sound with every album yes they’ve got slower and more boring is that what you mean crazy woman?!) to John cunting Harris wearing a Happy Mondays t-shirt and a BAD haircut (almost as bad as Vernon cunting Kaye rubbing himself in the presence of Paul cunting Weller on T4 earlier in the day – “Do you think you’re cool?” “Anyone who thinks they’re cool isn’t cool” he says wearing sunglasses indoors and sporting a cunt’s haircut - I hope they both catch impetigo and die, or at least have very nasty rashes which make them appear unsightly to ladies they find attractive) and perpetuating even more BULLSHIT about stuff. John Harris – you’re a cunt.
But of course no one really cares about this programme, because everyone was watching Ralph Little mark Paul Gascoigne on Sky One. Chris Waddle… Viv Anderson… Trevor Francis… Sheffield Wednesday Old Boys vs Some Pesky Famous Kids? Robbie Williams’
boyfriend flatmate / cousin / whatever scored an almost mirror-image copy of the Beckham goal against Wales after Gary Pallister had driven the Legends ahead after Bosnich went off to snort some coke injured and they had to put some TV presenter in goal, before Ally McCoist restored order by scoring the winner in injury time. And on Five there was a documentary about Stan Collymore, possibly my favourite non-Wednesday/Arsenal/Roma player ever, for a bunch of reasons including (but not condoning) the fact that he decked Ulrika.
Sunday nights are bizarre.
Drove to work so as to avoid being confronted by a frozen corpse atop the cliff.
10/11/2004 08:56:00 am