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Monday, June 21, 2004  
Monday Monday, not good to me

For reasons that will become apparent I spent the weekend listening to early Embrace singles and EPs, which was infuriating because there were two simultaneous Timbaland thread revivals on ILM, one about the new L Cool J album (heard two tracks so far, reasonably ‘good’ but no more) and the other about whether Tim Mosley is the ‘greatest producer ever’. So all I wanted to do was download Tim tracks but I had to write godamnit, and for money too (I’m going to have to declare it! I had to write an invoice! omgwtf?!). Top track, as mentioned the other day, = Petey Pablo’s “Get On Dis Motorcycle”, which is one part Disco Inferno (specifically “Starbound…”), one part Qawwali, one part retard, plus two parts regular Tim and all parts fucking fantastic.

Some great stuff on Stylus today; firstly Akiva tackles A Ghost Is Born and gives it a 10. I don’t agree. Wilco are a great little band and I love the way Tweedy phrases things, bends melodies and actually does sound as if he’s drunk all the time, but for fuck’s sake!

· a; obsessing about ‘the great American record’ is not good (I shall dig out my meta-talk from last year on ILM sometime – Scorsese die, Frantzen die, Mendes die, Flaming Lips die, etcetera etcetera)
· b; Yanks be crazy over Wilco (it’s always either “best thing ever” or “Satan’s nasty little helpers” when they are neither, just a great little band!), and
· c; Akiva asked me what was “the last 10” I’d heard – I immediately presumed he meant “last 10 records” but no, he meant “last record I would have given 10/10 to”; I had to say “nothing, ever”, because that’s what a 10 is for = unattainable perfection. Akiva countered with “you give a lot of 9s”, and I jabbed back with “I give way more 7s, and I’d give more 1s, 2s, 3s and 4s if I was being paid and could do it full time meaning I could actually listen to all the shite out there too”. I don’t have a ‘favourite album ever’ anymore. Also
· d; Jim DeRogatis likes Wilco, and Jim DeRogatis is a cunt.

But then again so is Paul Morley. I can only assume that, like Paul McCartney, the ‘real’ Paul Morley died years ago and was replaced by some patsy who looked a little bit like him, because there is simply NO WAY ON EARTH that all the fucking sad sad gay fuck muso journo wank wank hyperbole hero worship SHITE dolled out to Morley across ILM and the blogosphere is justified from what I’ve read by this fucking sad old tool lately. His assertion in Words & Music that he ‘created’ [us], i.e. people who write music blogs, is fucking ludicrous. I know Marcello loves him but I’m fucked if I even knew who he was two years ago (or Marcello either). Morley, you’re twice my age and I’ve seen a picture of you wearing multi-coloured trainers and a polo shirt with a suit, and if that doesn’t mark you out as a bona fide out-of-touch sad old man then I don’t know what the fuck does. This entire, canon-building Best 100 British Albums Ever shite is just the same as all the rest, a fucking ugly, arrogant, rockist (haha! – sorry people…), wretched, nasty little list. Observer Music Monthly is the most-read music publication in the country, apparently, and its vested interest is encouraging people to be scared of dancing, scared of women, scared of the future (scared of the fucking present, never mind the future!), scared of pop and scared of being different (also scared of being ‘the same’). If you are going to do a list, OMM, at least do it with the necessary level of irreverence.

Anyway… the other great stuff on Stylus includes Ben Welsh taking apart the new Wilco, and Dom’s contribution to Summer Dubbin’, the Stylus mixtape series. Expect my titular mix at some stage during the week.

Oh yeah, there’s also William Bloody Swygart’s UK chart rundown, which you ought to be reading religiously anyway.

Hero or villain; Wayne Rooney? Goadable or God? Tonight we shall see.


6/21/2004 09:00:00 am


Blogger Nick - 11:16 am

Also the new Nelly single is pleasantly mad, as if The Neptunes are trying to out-weird themselves. "get your eagle on girl" wtf? Also Pharrell referencing Charlie & The Chocolate Factory?


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Nick Southall is Contributing Editor at Stylus Magazine and occasionally writes for various other places on and offline. You can contact him by emailing auspiciousfishNO@SPAMgmail.com

All material © Nick Southall, 2003/2004/2005