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Delirious With Weird

Wednesday, December 31, 2003  
I know I'm not alone in this sentiment, but I really fucking hate New Year. Not just because it's a stupid, arbitrary celebration based around a somewhat 'idiosyncratic' religious calendar (the Christian calendar starts when jesus is born, rioght? so why are Xmas and New Year a week apart? why is Xmas not until January 7th in Ethipia, which is a Xtian country? why are we not nuts about various kings and such in the middle ages nicking years off us to make themselves look younger?). What is New Year if you're not Xtian and accept that the calendar we live by is purely symbolic in terms of when it starts and ends? Not an equinox, not a solstice, not even a fucking harvest or a planting - these things I can more than understand celebrating more than some tenuous 'new beginning'. While we're at it why aren't months lunar anymore? You fucking fucks. I could do with an extra paycheque each year.


But most of all I hate the enforced joviality of New Year's Eve, the evil and awkward imperative to have as much fun as possible that forces people who don't understand what fun is to go out and have it. Idiots who don't know how to behave in pubs and go out one night in 365 and make life hell for people who work there (something I did for years). And the awful, crushing knowledge that if you don't go out and attempt to eviscerate yourself with alcohol, swear at people, get off with someone you don't like or probably even know, dance a shit dance, sprain your ankle and be seen desperately trying to 'enjoy' yourself, that you're going to be dubbed a killjoy fascist fun-hater.

Uergh. Assholes. This year I shall probably be staying in and watching a film.

12/31/2003 02:00:00 pm


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Nick Southall is Contributing Editor at Stylus Magazine and occasionally writes for various other places on and offline. You can contact him by emailing auspiciousfishNO@SPAMgmail.com

All material © Nick Southall, 2003/2004/2005