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Delirious With Weird

Wednesday, September 17, 2003  
Name analysis, prompted by Ian. Two different results for my first name though, depending on whether you use the truncated version or not...

"Your name of Nick has given you an idealistic nature with a desire to help others. Your initiative often causes you to be the first to act when you see a need. Since you are impressionable and receptive, you feel the misfortunes of others very keenly. However, this name makes it awkward for you to express your deeper thoughts and feelings with finesse and diplomacy to the extent that your candid, sometimes blunt, manner of speaking creates misunderstandings with others. Being somewhat self-centred, you learn through your own experiences, as you rarely take advice from others. Yet, you are sensitive and very easily hurt and offended. You long for praise and appreciation for your efforts, but others find it difficult to understand you. You dislike monotony and system and enjoy being creative in an inventive way whether it be in interior decorating, music, art, crafts, or other endeavours that require versatility and skill. You are imaginative and visionary, somewhat of a perfectionist, yet the results of your efforts often fall short of your high expectations. A leadership position appeals to you because you would enjoy directing others rather than being directed. Your feelings are strong and you tend to react intensely to situations."

"Your first name of Nicholas has given you a clever, deep mind and the talent to excel in highly inspirational lines of endeavour as a dramatist, musician, writer, or artist. You can be lifted by beauty in all forms and you are at the most creative when inspired. Your expressive, affectionate nature responds very quickly through your feelings, but you must guard against being possessive and jealous. You feel and sense much that you do not fully understand and cannot express. Your delight in mystery could draw you into occult studies or religions. Unfortunately, uncontrolled thoughts make it difficult for you to retain emotional stability, and prevent you from finding proper peace and relaxation. You tend to centre your interest too much on whatever means the most to you, and then you become over-possessive and suffer through disillusionment and fear of losses."

Both of which are kind of accurate in some ways (much like horoscope character definitions - "reliable sex with a Virgo" it says for me [Taurus]) but are pretty much horseshit on the whole. Interestingly, if you tell the kabalarians your name is "Asshat" they say this;

"Your name of Asshat makes you quick-minded, versatile, and very expressive. You are adaptable and creative in responding to new situations. This name has given you an interest in people and a desire for new experiences. You have the ability to create a favourable first impression, and so you could do well in the fields of sales promotion or entertainment. The use of this name creates a lack of stability in your affairs as it inclines you to procrastinate. It spoils patience and weakens your stand in matters of principle. You are inclined to do whatever is expedient in order to avoid facing issues. You could suffer bitter experiences through attracting wrong types of association and can be drawn into circumstances involving you in unwise situations."

"Fucktard" is sadly not a part of their database (but "Asshat" is?! wtf?!).

What's in a name? Lots and lots, probably. But not this, I suspect.

9/17/2003 11:02:00 am


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Nick Southall is Contributing Editor at Stylus Magazine and occasionally writes for various other places on and offline. You can contact him by emailing auspiciousfishNO@SPAMgmail.com

All material © Nick Southall, 2003/2004/2005